And, going back to procrastination, you can’t really do that unless you have something to preoccupy yourself with, right? Well, luckily for me, I just got my new netbook a little bit ago and I’ve been tinkering with it and loading it with all my favorite programs and media. I have to admit, I’m definitely impressed with this little investment! I think it’ll serve be well during my YWAM trip, internet connections not withstanding. I’ve even put it through the course and it’s passed most of my tests. It handles the internet like a champ and I might even try and see if I can’t get Lightroom working on it as well. Honestly, I don’t know how I called myself a photographer before Lightroom. There’s nothing better than being able to handle your entire photo workflow process in one unified program.

On a different note, I’ve really had to ask for forgiveness lately when it comes to my unrealistic expectations. I didn’t realize how much I expect people to have a firm understand of the principles of design. Obviously that’s just not the case though! And yet, somehow, I fell into the trap of setting my bar of expectations at a level so high I could barely reach it. As an artist I think I’ll always struggle with wanting perfection from myself but this was a case of that bleeding over onto other people. But that part that really caught me  was when I realized that’s there’s no possible way people would even know these sort of principles of design that I do. They haven’t had any training, formal or otherwise. It’d be like me, as a teacher, requiring my students to pass a test I haven’t prepared them for.  I really missed the boat, didn’t I?

The good news is, there’s still time. I now feel more empowered to actively teach and equip those around me whether it be in graphic design or any other area of expertise. I think I’ve spent plenty of time giving people fish without ever really teaching them to fish. And the worse part is that doesn’t help either of us in the end. Ahh, I smell co-dependent tendencies!

So that concludes the “personal” portion of this blog.
Now I get to dive into the “rant” section…

First off, directly following in the spirit of the last few paragraphs, this will be a much more educational and productive rant (if there ever was such a thing).

The topic: Facebook.

I’m not exactly happy with the new design change that Facebook underwent. I now have a completely useless and irrelevant “Highlights” column on the right that I can’t even remove if I wanted to. But that’s not really my main point. The thing I really don’t like is the now chaotic “feed” on the homepage. I feel inundated with information now more than ever before. And my problem is I usually try to assimilate all of it. Obviously that’s not healthy either so something has to be cut, but how? Well, I’m glad you asked! It’s a little thing called “Friends Lists.” It’s actually a new feature that rolled out a week or so before Facebook redesigned the whole site. It’s a feature that lets you create a list and add any friends you want to it. Pretty simple, right? Well, the payoff is in the fact that now you can filter down your “feed” by clicked on one of your custom built friends lists. Now, if I only want to see people from Mountain View I can just click on that list and my feed will reveal only people I’ve added to that group. So far I have a group for almost every circle of friends! Without this key feature I probably wouldn’t have lasted more than a few days on the new Facebook. And that’s why I also wanted to share it with you, too. This sort of qualifies as my “trying to teach others” for the day. I hope it all makes sense and is immediately applicable to you. I don’t aim to waste your time, that usually just happens naturally!

Lastly, because of the previously mentioned Lightroom, I’ve really found my passion for photography again. With that said I spent hours cleaning out my old Flickr accounts and bringing them back up to speed. I’ve poured in enough time on the front end to really benefit from it during the rest of my YWAM trip. So be sure to check out some of my photos, too, when you have the chance.

They’re even displayed right over there, on the right side >>>
(maybe up a little higher though)

You can also check out my flickr site directly at flickr.com/photos/kalel559

*Yay! Yahoo! w00t! Yippeee! etc…*

But now reality is beginning to sink in, as it usually does, and I’m starting to panic a bit. I was totally fine with the idea of raising some $5,000+ in funds for all the YWAM expenses like travel, room and board. No problem, God will provide, I’m great. That is, until I joined the YWAMconnect.NET online community for my PhotoGenX team. I’m totally camera insecure! People are talking about lenses and tripods and flash and battery and …. *make it stop!*….. *tears*……

I didn’t think the next struggle would be with jealous and insecurity around material things. Honestly, that’s never been a struggle for me, I guess, until now. I think the problem is I originally made the decision to give up all those great camera upgrades this year so I could go on YWAM. So all of my personal funds are going towards financing my trip instead of  the tools and equipment I’ll be using during the trip. Oh the irony! I think God still has a sense of humor.

I want it all! I want the new Canon 5D Mark II with a new flash, extra batteries and a vertical hand grip, along with a netbook or Mac to download all my pictures to. That’s not too much to ask for, right?

*Oh wait, reality…*

Maybe I should find some secret rich benefactors who want nothing more than to shower me with lavish gifts (ok, now I’m just being ridiculous and delusional).

The facts:

It’s still going to be a great trip. I still have a camera and some great lenses. And I’m pretty sure using my camera for one more year won’t be the worst thing that’s happened to me. I need to be grateful for what I’ve got. This whole jealous/rant will pass eventually. In the meantime I need to just keeping praying faithfully for the Lord to provide (something I’m already convinced of spiritually, maybe not-so-much mentally, if that makes any sense?). Seriously, I don’t know why I’m so worried. God was the one who spoke so clearly to me a year ago and lead me out here in the first place. I didn’t even know the first thing about YWAM, like what it stood for (Youth with a Mission). And now I’m here, in Hawaii, three weeks away from starting an epic six month journey around the world (well, at least half… and I bet it’s the better half!) with a whole new group of people.

PS. If anyone seriously wants to buy me some new equipment I can send you the links to amazon.com and b&hphoto.com.

• I’ve finally fallen in love with one of those special program specific keys on my keyboard. This one happens to be the music player button. For some reason I’ve never used any of them before, aside from my occasional fling with the volume and mute keys. I guess they never held much significance until now.

  Which leads me to my next bullet…

• I’m obsessed with Relient K. I have their three latest cds and they’re simply amazing in every way. Their lead singer and song writer, Matt Thiessen, has a great deal of both lyrical and instrumental maturity. In the endless flood 0f generic, uninspired Christian bands, Relient K remains a shining star. (Before I throw every other band under the bus I also want to save: Needtobreathe, Anberlin, recent Jars of Clay, and some Newsboys, oh… and Coldplay!… wait a minute, huh?)

  Which, incidentally, also segways into my next bullet…

• The Christian music industry needs to either: A) wake up from their coma, or B) switch off life support and just die. What? Too much? Seriously though, even in the simple things they seem to be trailing the world. All the popular secular artists have their entire album collections online for people to stream for free, whether it be on MyPlay or Myspace. Now switch gears and check the artists on Christians music labels,”Umm, why are there only four songs? Are we still living in 2004?”

  Ok, originally I was intending to segue nicely into a new topic but this has just been so much fun and I’m recalling tons of things I want to mention annd/or rant about…

• In technology terms, 2004 roughly translates to the early 1800’s. With that said, I’m so glad I live in 2009. “What’s one of the benefits of 2009?” you may ask. Well, in a word: cloud. The quickest definition of cloud is that all your  information is stored online, probably on some server farm in Arizon, and you can access it via any device with an internet connection. Examples: box.net, my.yahoo.com, google mail/documents/calendar, facebook.com, etc. Because of cloud I know longer need a laptop, a jumpdrive, a day planner or even Microsoft Office. I can access my information from any computer I use, not to mention I can receive updates and reminders as text messages on my phone. Did I mention every single one of these sites and features is free? (Standard texting rates apply) lol. But the key difference with cloud based information and systems is that they only get better. You don’t have to purchase new software every year and upgrade. The internet is becoming more powerful as a tool (yay for firefox and add-ons!).

Oh the irony! Oh the hypocrisy!

I think I’m developing a bit of a grudge against our capitalistic culture these days. How/why exactly have we, as Christians, promoted and participated in a system that fuels greed, envy and discontented hearts? How is that even close to a pursuit of Christ’s heart? I think we’re in the midst of reassessing our priorities and dealing with the hard truth that money has been our master far too long.

It is capitalism and our greed that ultimately created this terrible recession we’re in as a country. We’ve collectively created a bubble that would inevitably burst. Only, in this outcome, it’s actual lives and families that are rattled to the core. Through herd mentality we’ve seen hundreds of millions of people slide into a life of comfortably living outside their means. If credit cards were the rope then we’ve made the noose.

I wish there were more spiritual mirrors in the world because it seems these days people don’t even recognize the consequences of their actions, as if we all function in a separate vacuum. Maybe that’s why we see things on TV like employees being trampled to death at WalMart. All for the sales, right?

America is just one step away from Lord of the Flies, despite whatever lies nationalism tries to feed us. We have our running water and constant electricity and suddenly we think we’re better than the rest of the world. We’re dignified. Civilized. Self-righteous.

I almost can’t bear to read one more statistic mentioning how little it takes to eliminate world hunger, poverty, illiteracy, etc. The reports even try to dress it up by relating it to whatever the current thing Americans are spending money on. The flavor of the week. The last one I remember said something like 2% of our Christmas shopping budget could feed all the children of the world for a year. But, clearly, that’s just not worth it!

What sort of evil and sin is there in the collective soul? How does the simple fact that there’s a mass of people allow not one single individual to act? Maybe this Friday truly is Black…

And when I think back to just 24 hours earlier I remember all the things I was grateful for, none of which were material goods.

My unrealistic challenge: Don’t buy any presents this year.

Instead, you might try investing an hour of your time with a person for every $10 you would have spent on them. Time is money, after all! Then again, I just value relationships and personal time way more than gifts or presents. So maybe that’s just unique to my love language.

Thanks for reading my first rant. Ideally you’d be so inspired/angered as a reader to respond in dialogue with me.